The Joy of Submission

Ephesians 5:22-27



This used to be my most dreaded passage of scripture. I did not like it, did not want to read it, and most assurdly did not want to follow it. I would hear message after message on it, (all preached by men of course) and be so angry. Then I heard a popular quote that this verse means for the wife to duck because God is about to hit your husband! I liked that.



Part of the reason that I did not like this verse is that I took the word "submit" and thought "obey". According to various New Testament commentaries, the word "obey" is not used in scripture with respect to wives. The heart of submission is "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating" (Study Light Lexicons).


Several years ago, B. J. and I truly began to seek out the truth in these verses for the health of our marriage. If you look back at verse 21 it says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." We are not to submit because we want to or even because our spouse is deserving of it, but because Christ is worthy of it. That puts it in a whole different perspective. We should submit to our husbands as an act of submission to the Lord. Not in obedience to our spouse, but in obedience to Christ.



So I guess you are wondering where the "joy" part comes in? While talking with a friend recently, I made the statement that I knew when I married B. J. that I would go wherever he went. I knew we were both called into the ministry of Jesus Christ, and I trusted him to lead us. I realized after saying that, that it has been a joy to allow him to be the leader of our family. I am so thankful for a husband that loves Jesus and although he is not perfect, he truly does seek to love me as Christ loves the church. If your husband is a follower of Jesus Christ, trust him to do what God has ordained for him to do. It is truly God's plan. We can rest in that truth and have the joy that comes from obedience to Christ.



I do realize that there are many of us that do not have a husband that is following after Christ. If that is your situation, I can understand that this verse is probably very difficult to follow. Although my husband is a Christian, I grew up in a family where my mother was the spiritual leader of our home. If I have learned anything from her, it is that Christ is worthy of our submission even if you feel that your spouse is not. Persevere, dear sister! Your obedience to Christ will not be in vain.



Whatever your situation, take some time today to remember that your marriage is a picture of Christ and His church. May we seek to glorify Him in our marriage today and everyday until His return.